Thursday, 25 January 2007

A vision of Genital proportions ?!?!?!?!?!?

Floating on a cloud of Tiramisu, O had the queer sensation that something was about to go horribly wrong. The hair in his ears started to vibrate and his left foot felt like he had just stepped in a big pile of pig shit with the yukky sensation of gooful moisture between his toes.

He had, had this feeling before and knew instinctively that he was nowhere near his body. An observer of people and things, he'd mastered the art of astral traveling centuries ago and in that instant he knew that he was dreaming. Willingly leaving his body was great for spying on delectable morsels of male and even occasionally female forms of life, yet some of his most important and disturbing visions had come to him while he was under sleep's dangerously deceitful spell. So it had been with the creation of the DODGY CHICKEN PIE that had threatened and nearly destroyed the bucket and its inhabitants through anal discharge a 1001 years ago and so it was now.

It started with a sweet smell of lilac and wood shavings. He sniffed the air and as he turned his head to follow the scent, he was knocked off of the airborne pudding he'd been sitting on. Like a bolt of lightning straight to the nose the vision slapped him back into his body and momentary consciousness. Choking on his own snot and that smell, he started awake and wailed at the top of his lungs. FAAAAANNNNNNNNYYYYYYYY!!!!???????!!!?!? After which he puked in OmGiK's lap.

Traveling at an atrociously high speed the Not So Pink Anymore Especially On The Inside Polka Dot Ferrari promptly left the road and came to a screeching halt in an old upside down tree precariously perched at the edge of a cliff. The tree moaned its complaint and retaliated with a spot of whiplash and down into the depths the car and its occupants went.

Inside the car the cherry jelly safety device deployed rendering the inhabitants in suspended animation safe from harms way. As they were falling, OmGiK thought "Fuck, not another one" and when the they finally slammed through a double storey roof and came to an exploding stop on a little old lady's kitchen table in the valley below, the occupants were promptly ejected like a bottle of HoSe' from an upset stomach....

OmGiK was on his feet in an instant and was about to slap O silly, when he saw her. A smile lightened his face and he could not help but giggle. There she was, with her spoon of porridge frozen halfway to her open mouth staring at them in utter shock and disbelief. The hilarity of the situation did not reach her, but in a matter of seconds OmGiK was on his back cackling like a rooster who had just gotten laid. Little did he and the others know that their apparent misfortune had saved them from a the same fate as their Princess.

As he struggled erect through waves of nausea, O had a flashback of that terrible sight. This time Misty's scent was mixed with the other and he knew that theirs would be a fight to end all fights.......

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