Monday, 28 May 2007

MUFFins of Mayhem

bzzzzzz - slap. bzzzzzz - slap. bzzzzzzz - slap, slap, slap. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Will you stop that?!" hissed O with a look of scorn at OKyle "They will hear you"

OKyle glanced at O with a mournful look and whispered "These blood sucking snails are everywhere. It feels like I've emigrated a thousand of them into each of my orifices and there is no sign of them letting up. I can't take it anymore" he almost screamed.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh" O warned again, with venom

Truth be told the flying snails with their needle like teeth was starting to dissolve Osservatore's sanity. The anticoagulant that the little buggers carry in their saliva acted as a mind warping stimulant which, considering their uncanny knack for finding places that don't want to be found, induced fits of rage filled paranoia. i.e. they made any unwelcome visitor to her lowness' lair, become a noisy moving target.

aS IF WALKING THROUGH A PORTAL - Hieronymous signalled the party to - shut the fuck up! He pointed tentatively towards a dimly lit clearing that seperated the forest from ze WALL that shot up into the dark sky. O saw it first. He had heard tales of these creatures. Tales so grim that they shouldn't be told.....

A BeAsT, walking on 6 legs , was coming into view. At shoulder height it was 6feet (bucket feet are pretty big) tall. It was covered in jet black hair with sickly green patched of what looked like dead skin dotting its whole body. Out of each patch a blood red spike protruded, giving it the appearance of a hedgehog that had been plucked, yet not.

A long neck slithered out of its bulbous body. Massive eyes, belying its intelligence dominated its facial features. EyEs that were looking for THEM!!

In mid thought, everything froze. A silence like none other heard anywhere everywhere descended upon everything.

OKyle smiled a smile of LoVe! The Buzzing had stopped! !!!!!!!!

He had met the one thing that could make a ludicrously loud, bloodsucking, paranormalic activity incuding sluggish fly, quiver in its TinY LiTTle bOOts.

He looked over to share his joy and thought - oFuck o Fell!@#............

The last thing that went through osservatore dela gente's mind before his panick induced hissy fit led him through a black hole into unchartered waters was "chocolate chip muffin", the smell of which filled his olfactory cavity with a decadent bitch slap !:!:!:!:!

The first thing he thought on his entry back into the bucket realm was - "WOWnesS - I've never had anything so delectable in my entiRe Existencial existence." the second was "Where is Psydeska? Where is that bugggggg?"

Friday, 18 May 2007

A room with a view

(Enter Lee-Lu Multipass.)

Lee-Lu sat waiting patiently. He looked at the Bucketeers, holding a tray with cups and a Teapot. He placed it down on a small table and began to pour the tea contemplatively when everyone sat down - trying very hard not to gawk at his scandalously short hot-pants and funny hat.

‘Here my friends, please have something to refresh yourself with’, he saidwith his wise and raspy voice. There was an air of deep contemplation around him and you sort of got the impression that here was a magical little man of unnatural descent.

When he had finished passing the tea around, he motioned for them to follow him.

At the Heart of the Zeplin was a room made completely of glass. There was a dome plate in the middle of the room, from which you could look down to see everything below - for miles and miles. The Zeplin was proceeding slowly over mountainous range of deep canyons. Lee-Lu sat down flat at the plate and urged the Bucketeers to do the same.

The minute they all found their seats, a ripple passed through the plate, which was slowly becoming opaque. ‘Look into the Bucket, my friends, and it will give you the answers you seek. I have seen it all and have felt the disturbance long before Steff Gwenani ever made her assault on our beloved companions’.

OhKyle! Looked stunned. ‘Then why didn’t you DO anything to stop her!?!’

Lee-Lu smiled patiently and knowingly.

‘Oh but I have, my friend…. I have started weaving the Story of Resolution – a thin spell that will restore the order and repair the penetrated Bucket wall.’

He grinned the grin of a thousand self-satisfactions.

‘Besides, you already have The Key’, he said, smiling at Psydeska.

‘I will be able to take you as far as the forest surrounding Steff Gwenani’s Castle, but you must proceed from there on foot’.

The Bucketeers contemplated this while sipping their tea.

Suddenly a loud screeching broke their silence and the Bucketeers see a flock of winged creatures approaching fast..