Saturday 30 December 2006

Revelations



In my sleep I had visions of my previous royal life.

You know that feeling you get when you can sense a stare glazing your intestines into fried bacon and you instinctively look in a direction to find someone or something staring at you and then that someonething quickly looks away as if the ghost of Saddam just appeared on the other side of the bucket....Well, that is how I felt when I woke up from my revealingly glorious dream. I couldn't help but yelp out: OhMyGoditsKYLE!

The dream was a glorious revelation indeed. Sure I am young and confused but still somehow I know stuff that was and still is in a sense forgotten. This is not my first time of living consciousness, only my first existence that sprout from the bucket. How do I know this, well the dream....silly bunnies! and then of course the previous-life flash backs making me whimper in my sleep.

So I know there is only 2 things to do:
1. DEMAND everybody call me Princess Pandemonia
2. Undress oHmyGoditsKYLE and spank him on his bare bottom until he squeals like a horny little peasant.

After that everything is likely to fall logically into place.

For those of you who lack THE logic, feel free to ask questions. Wisdom can only be found deep within the wells of ze bucket.

Tuesday 19 December 2006

the bucket was empty...

...very empty really. quite dreary. positively dry. ohmygoditskyle! kept wondering what the purpose was of it all. was he here to devour the delectible misty... have an affair with the luscious pandemonia... maybe even have a quick shag with the charming osservatore dela gente. but he knew it would not happen. any of it. the time was not ripe. we were young. we were inexperienced. and we wanted to discover all of it. this gift was so tender and nobody in that room knew quite how to deal with it. so they decided to NOT do anything with it. so they sat and ohmygoditskyle kept on staring at everybody, hoping that somebody else would make the 1st move...

Wednesday 13 December 2006

Misty's research into the great unknown realms of The Bucket.

Misty is doing a lot of reading, trying to figure out how she got here and what she is supposed to be doing with her time.
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Some of the other bucket-babes are really freaky, especially that ohmygodit'sKyle!, who keeps staring at her like he wants to eat her.. Pandemonia is kind of hot. Sometimes Misty catches her staring as well. She sort of likes the attention and has decided to see where this is going. Nothing else to do while waiting for her mission to reveal itself...

Thursday 7 December 2006

Pigs that Itch


What? Don't be silly! I didn't. But you. Oh forget it. I never really liked watching you prance around anyway. Yes my dear boy, I have been watching you. Your every move for a long time, and dare I say " What an overbearing PRI.."

Oh hello. I didn't see you sitting there. You have to excuse me. I was just explaining to my latest, now lost, infatuation how he's been a victor or victim, depending on which way the pendulum swings, of my multi award winning observations on his delectable yet utterly brain dead physiology. To speak frankly, I think he had a bit of a fright, what with all the shuddering and foaming at the mouth, but I'm sure he'll be fine once he starts breathing again. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, you know. Me falling over that damned prickly pig into his realm. But alas, as far a prickly pigs go, you never know where they might crop up...

Oh but my dear. How rude am I. We have not even been properly introduced and here's me rambling on about pigs that itch and all else. Please forgive me. My name is Osservatore Dela Gente, or just O for short and I am a watcher. Very pleased to meet you. Why thank you dear, I love this hat too. Its so pretty and shiny and a rare find, seeing as my abnormally large globe of a head is never easy to cover.

But wait! If I may ask.... Where did you come from? And how did you manage to ride out the wormhole without being covered in your breakfast?

Earth? Where's that? The sun?......
Oh I know. You mean the little blue planet on the outskirts of that horrible hemmaroid that plagued the big B a while back. Fierry bugger, isn't it?
As for your stomach, that is strange. I've always found that being ripped apart into a million tiny pieces only to be reassembled upon entry to the domain made me want to chuck, but hey, you're obviously one tough cookie.

I've heard Earth is a pretty place with alot to see. I shall have to visit it some time. You can be my guide.

What's that darling? Food? Oh yes, yes. My manners again.
Come along. I can't wait to hear what the others make of you.

poor trashed animal

OhMyGoditsKYLE! who would have dreamt that we would be conceived by the same beautiful bucket! Wait a nano second, is that the delectable mysterious Misty, mmmm she seems delicious. What's that smell? Oh....incest. Oh my darling bucket babies, could some one please tell that bucket born beast to STOP STARING! Why are we here again? Come now, its quite obvious:
We rock the party baby, THIS IS THE MONKEY BUSINESS.
Who am I? I dont know, WHO AM I!

oopsy daisy!


Birth was extremely disconfuculating up until the point of the rainbow being swallowed by the bucket. From there the purpose of being was magnified into a pandemonic orchestra. Then I spilled from the bucket...

Misty Rockchild rocks your world!

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It was the strange glow that attracted her attention first. She followed it and entered a place that was no longer her own. She didn’t know what was happening, but she heard beautiful music and saw lights, shining so brilliantly that she could not turn away. She was being pulled towards is and she felt somehow compelled to go. Next thing she knew, she was being helped out of the bucket by a perfect stranger and was in a world that was so different to hers. She did not know what she was doing there, but something told her that it would all be revealed to her in due time. She met others who had also climbed out of the bucket, but they could not explain to her how this happened. She was determined to find her purpose and kept a careful watch on her surroundings. Misty gradually became used to this strange new world, but stayed close to the bucket of her origin, just in case it summoned her again.
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Monday 4 December 2006

Hear Ye, Hear Ye


I am the BUCKET *pauses to accentuate ze importance of his royal master.... THE BUCKET* and this is my domain. I welcome all to this wonderful dimension filled with colour, excitement, friendship and beautifully mesmerizing flying pigs. I trust that every one or two or twenty had a pleasant journey to this, this land where anything may happen and a lot more shall. It is my great joy to bestow upon the elusive few who made it past the smokestack wormhole the BIG BUCKET's LICK OF APPROVAL without which there is just no point in being here, there or anywhere really.

As all will come to know, I am a BUCKET of a few words and will only speak when I deem it absolutely neccessary. My domain will be taken care off and seen to by my brilliantly talented, gorgeously attractive and mind-numbingly intelligent offspring. They, busy monkeys that they are, you know with all their plans to take over the world, will introduce themselves in due course. For now though, fasten your seatbelts, thighten your knickers, keep your arms and legs tucked inside whatever you are driving and never, ever swallow your gum.

In the name of all the BUCKETS before me and all those still to come, including "the little bucket who could", I declare this party started!

the day it all started...

It was a dark and stormy night. Ok not really.
It was a saturday afternoon.
A particularly sunny afternoon and 5 friends sat quite lifelessly, scattered randomly across miss Pandemonia's flat. It was a room like every other, dreadfully square, filled with odd furniture, little kitsch nik-naks, forgotten memerobilia... pieces of area 53's crashed spacecraft and a bucket. So yes, a room like every other room.
Pandemonia was stretched out on the pink couch, slowly concentrating on blinking. It was a particularly hard task for dear P. She was quite exhausted from all the focusing. Together with the mammoth task of breathing, she was positively 'pooped'.
OhmyGoditsKyle! ;who was sitting next to Mr Wrapped; was staring lustfully at the delectible Misty. He wanted to touch her, devour her luxurious flesh, but knew that Pandemonia would not allow it. They were a couple... an imaginary couple of wannabe lesbians.
Leeloo Multipass was listfully paging thru a book on world domination. He needed the info for THE GROUP's evil plan. What PLAN? you may ask. The plan! A plan unlike any other. A plan to invade a bridal shoppe and try on dresses for no apparent reason. We liked our plan. It made no sense. And that was quite good...
Hmmmm.....OhmygoditsKyle! pondered, stroking the bucket, "where will this go?"