Thursday, 7 December 2006

Pigs that Itch

What? Don't be silly! I didn't. But you. Oh forget it. I never really liked watching you prance around anyway. Yes my dear boy, I have been watching you. Your every move for a long time, and dare I say " What an overbearing PRI.."

Oh hello. I didn't see you sitting there. You have to excuse me. I was just explaining to my latest, now lost, infatuation how he's been a victor or victim, depending on which way the pendulum swings, of my multi award winning observations on his delectable yet utterly brain dead physiology. To speak frankly, I think he had a bit of a fright, what with all the shuddering and foaming at the mouth, but I'm sure he'll be fine once he starts breathing again. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, you know. Me falling over that damned prickly pig into his realm. But alas, as far a prickly pigs go, you never know where they might crop up...

Oh but my dear. How rude am I. We have not even been properly introduced and here's me rambling on about pigs that itch and all else. Please forgive me. My name is Osservatore Dela Gente, or just O for short and I am a watcher. Very pleased to meet you. Why thank you dear, I love this hat too. Its so pretty and shiny and a rare find, seeing as my abnormally large globe of a head is never easy to cover.

But wait! If I may ask.... Where did you come from? And how did you manage to ride out the wormhole without being covered in your breakfast?

Earth? Where's that? The sun?......
Oh I know. You mean the little blue planet on the outskirts of that horrible hemmaroid that plagued the big B a while back. Fierry bugger, isn't it?
As for your stomach, that is strange. I've always found that being ripped apart into a million tiny pieces only to be reassembled upon entry to the domain made me want to chuck, but hey, you're obviously one tough cookie.

I've heard Earth is a pretty place with alot to see. I shall have to visit it some time. You can be my guide.

What's that darling? Food? Oh yes, yes. My manners again.
Come along. I can't wait to hear what the others make of you.

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